Day Two: Orgy at the Day-Care

If you're reading this blog, it means one of three things.  Either you know me and like laughing at me, you have a friend who knows someone who knows me (including themselves) and they thought you'd laugh at me, or you really like Pokemon and anger.  If you're the first two, you may ALSO know about Pokemon, which means you'll get what I'm going to say next.  If you don't, well, then, this may just be fun for all the sexual innuendo I'm about to start writing.

You see, in this game, Pokemon breeding is a very general and BORING art.  You leave two Pokemon at the Day Care Center, and if they're of the same egg group, they'll "breed" (i.e. start fucking like rabbits).  Then you run around, and after a certain amount of cycles (i.e. after you walk around a whole fucking lot), you get a brand new Pokemon of the MOTHER'S type.  The way around this, is my friend Ditto.

For those of you playing the "I grew up under a fucking rock and have no idea about Pokemon" game, Ditto has one ability, and looks like purple jello.  It transforms into whatever the fuck it's facing, and gets its moves.  When trying to get your Pokemon to fuck, breeding anything with Ditto will get you the non-Ditto breed.  So, you can create armies of Zubats if you really fucking want to, but that'll probably end up with my foot in your skull screaming profanities about how stupid Crobats are (I feel that this is going to be a recurring theme in this "adventure").

...okay, so, fastforward fifteen or so hours, because I'm lazy and don't like finishing posts on time.  I have said army of Zubats.  Do you know how fucking BORING it is running in circles for hours on end, waiting for your Crobat and some stupid, piece of shit purple blob to fuck and get you eggs?!  Then run around in more circles waiting for these eggs to hatch [since time is now measured in the amount of steps you take rather than the amount of time that actually passes (thank you Nintendo for creating your own version of time)], and you end up falling asleep.

Yes, I fell asleep trying to breed Zubats.

I swear Health class made breeding look more fun. 

Best part about this?

I STILL DON'T HAVE THE ONE I FUCKING WANT.